So…I’m chatting it up with one of my New York bestests and top five, my “bunny,” as I love to call her, about a conversation she overheard two guys having the previous night. Something along the lines of how in every crew of girls on a night out there is an anchor among them; the one who is probably packing 150 plus and wearing something she shouldn’t be, the one who no amounts of make-up can salvage, the one with insecurities and low self-esteem that tries to bring the group down and cock-blocks at any chance of an incoming male threatening to swoon away one of the flock…that isn’t herself. My bunny’s interpretation of the term, I quote, “A Broad-Back Brute.”
Ironically that same night I had an old, lost-touch-with-over-the-years-but-now-you-live-in-NY-lets-reconnect
can-I-visit-you-and make-you-baby-sit-me friend coming into town to stay with me for two nights. The kind of stingy ass girl from the woods who still tries to pass off glitter as makeup and thinks wearing a black t-shirt, army green cargo Capri pants, a neon green headband and platform flip-flops is dressing up for a New York club night. The girl who expects you to show her around and makes no plans of her own; she has no inkling to try and look presentable on a night out, yet expects you to manage getting her, her two out-of-town friends and their boyfriends into nightclubs all night because they want to go dancing! Needy leeches off your time; regardless of anything else you might have planned and talks to no one when I introduce her to my NY friends. Needy tries to make you feel guilty and brings down the group when you suggest things to do, because she doesn’t want to pay for liquor!
Now I’m usually pretty nice and try to work out these situations as sweetly as possible, but I realize there is no way I am getting Needy into a club, there is no way Needy will want to spend money on anything and you know…there is a time when a girl reaches her breaking point and That Girl comes out of me.
Needy…Get your self-in, buy your own drinks, or go sit on the pier with the other bums sipping a cheap-ass can of PBR that you might be able to afford! Who comes to NY on vacation with no money to spend!! Buy some heels!! Do your hair!! Whale back, broad back...Anchor!!
Maybe those boys had a point.
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1 comment:
Hahahah I love this line:
The kind of stingy ass girl from the woods who still tries to pass off glitter as makeup and thinks wearing a black t-shirt, army green cargo Capri pants, a neon green headband and platform flip-flops is dressing up for a New York club night
This is New York City. That shit don't fly here. Pull yourself together!
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