To my upstairs neighbor and tenant of apartment 3A…please, please I beg you…cease the continual six a.m. sexual escapades that drive your lady friend into an orgasmic frenzy of screaming as if you are killing her every morning! Chances are, she is faking you into a state of bliss that causes you to make this a morning ritual and perform the same act EVERY MORNING!!
Maybe, you could even go one step further and nail your bed into the wall! You must be aware of the fact that below your bedroom another type of living space exists and is inhabited; this space would be where I in fact, sleep and am awoken night after night by the terrifying pleasure screams of your significant lay! Let me tell you, nothing is better than jolting out of a peaceful slumber to the hi-def sounds of you jack hammering your girlfriend’s head and bed frame into the wall! I would like to send her a sympathy helmet to protect her brain from the irreparable damage you are implementing on her skull!
Kudos to you neighbor for your repetitive ability to get your jollies off and attempt at hers…but just so you know my wailing six a.m. wake-up call is less than appreciated and I will be more than happy to return the favor in the near future! Shall we say 4:30 a.m.?
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